Stories from Galaxy by E. E. Smith, F. Leiber, F. Pohl, D. Knight and C. D. Simak

My copy

I feel like a lot of critics are down on Astounding and the adventure-oriented pulps like Planet Stories and Startling Stories because they privileged the hard sciences and sensationalism (endless sword fights, ray gun fights, monsters and hot babes) over "sophisticated" literary values and the sorts of political and social concerns that excite the smart set.  These critics champion F&SF and Galaxy.  Myself, I love Astounding and Planet Stories and Startling Stories, but that doesn't mean I have anything against F&SF or Galaxy.  Let's check out five stories from the battered copy of The Third Galaxy Reader I bought in September for 50 cents from Second Story Books, that bright spot in the wretched hive of scum and villainy known as Washington, D.C.

"The Vilbar Party" by Evelyn E. Smith (1955)

The wikipedia page on Galaxy is full of quotes and paraphrases about how awesome Galaxy was.  Here is a paraphrase of a sentiment credited to Brian Aldiss and David Wingrove, the source cited being their Trillion Year Spree:

...through the influence of its reduced focus on technology, [Galaxy] played an important role in attracting women to write science fiction.

At the risk of misgendering somebody, I will suggest that the only woman in The Third Galaxy Reader is Evelyn E. Smith.  I read Smith's 1961 story "Softly While You're Sleeping" and was totally into it, so I have no fear about trying "The Vilbar Party."  But wait, Aldiss and Wingrove are quoted at wikipedia saying (in Trillion Year Spree):

[Galaxy] brought into the sunlight a number of excellent satirists, comedians and ironists

and "The Vilbar Party" would go on to appear in the 1982 anthology Laughing Space: An Anthology of Science Fiction Humor.  Oy.  I generally avoid joke stories, but let's give Smith the benefit of the doubt and give "The Vilbar Party," 12 pages, a shot.

The people of Saturn are like teddy bears with four arms and antennae.  Professor Narli Gzann is selected to be an exchange professor with a North American university; he figures human beings will find him repulsive, but he doesn't care because he likes to be alone and he has tons of work to do on his history of the solar system.  But when he gets to Earth, apparently the first Saturnian to visit Terra, everybody finds him just fucking adorable and they never leave him alone--they are always giving him gifts and taking him out and throwing him parties and caressing him and kissing him, etc.  He has no time to work on his history and he eats so well he gets fat.  By the time he gets back to Saturn he has become addicted to social life and attention--his solitary ways are over, contact with Earth having wrought a change in him, turning him into the life of the party.

"The Vilbar Party" is inoffensive but ultimately pointless; the jokes don't make you laugh, and there is no edge or tension or drama.  How this bland filler story got into The Third Galaxy Reader, I don't know.

Merely acceptable.

"Time in the Round" by Fritz Leiber (1957)

"Time in the Round" takes place in the far future, when life is sterile and safe.  People are conditioned to "automatically reject all violent solutions to problems" regarding humans.  We observe kids playing with their levitators and robot dogs in Peace Park.  The levitators have a built-in forcefield that prevents a levitating child from crashing into a tree or wall and getting hurt, and the robot dogs look and act exactly like real dogs, but can't be harmed.

The anti-violence conditioning is done to people when they are six years old, and one of the boys, Butch, who calls himself "the Butcher," is only five and still has a natural love of risk, danger and violence, and shoots spits balls at the other kids and wishes he lived in the past he has heard about, the days of Caesar, Napoleon, Hitler and Stalin, the days of war and revolution and blood.

On the other side of Peace Park is the Time Theater, where people can watch a projection that shows life in the past.  Kids who have not yet been conditioned are forbidden to visit the Time Theater, but Butch is cunning enough to get inside and join the older kids.  While watching some Vikings, a disaster occurs--for the first time ever it is not only photons that pass through the time-viewing device, but people!  The Viking warriors emerge into the theater and try to kidnap the women!  Because of the conditioning, nobody can resist this raid, except Butch!  Boldly employing the forcefield integrated into a levitator and the invulnerable robot dogs Butch drives off the Vikings, saves the women, and becomes a hero. 

Minor and somewhat silly, but diverting, we'll judge this one a tick above acceptable, "marginally good," I suppose.  Most of the story is jokes, but I suspect Leiber is also suggesting that a life that is too easy will lead to weakness and an inability to meet unexpected challenges.  "Time in the Round" has not been reprinted much, but did show up in a huge (715 pages!) collection of Leiber stories put out by Centipede Press in 2016.

Fans of the Dillons should check out their illustrations for the presentation of "Time in the Round" found in Galaxy (link above.)  While I am interpreting the story as basically a goof, their illustrations are moody and sad. 

"The Haunted Corpse" by Frederik Pohl (1957)

Like Smith's "The Vilbar Party" this is another inoffensive story that is meant to be funny.  I don't know why H. L. Gold selected these light stories for The Third Galaxy Reader instead of stories that were striking or shocking or otherwise moving.

An unscrupulous scientist has figured out a way to transfer personalities from one body to another.  One of his colleagues alerts the government, and an army unit is dispatched to surround the mad scientist's house--this new invention no doubt has great military value, and must be protected.  Our narrator is the colonel in charge of defending the invention and also monitoring the inventor's work--he demands daily reports from the scientist, who rages at all this interference.

"The Haunted Corpse" is too long, I guess to fit in the multitude of mild jokes.  I guess the main joke is that military men are dim--it takes a long time for them to realize the scientist has invented a soul transfer machine and not a death ray projector, for example.  Secondary jokes include the fact that the scientist's colleague (the stool pigeon) is fat and loves to eat, and that the inventor calls the colonel a lieutenant.  These are the sorts of standard and obvious jokes that one cannot call bad, but which one does not actually laugh at, either.

Anyway, the inventor doesn't give a rat's ass about national security or getting rich or anything like that.  He is over 80 years old, and just wants to move his own soul into a young body.  He tricks the military into providing him an opportunity to shift his psyche into that of a hearty young soldier and then escapes.

Acceptable...barely.

"The Haunted Corpse" has appeared in many Pohl collections, and was even adapted for radio.

"Man in the Jar" by Damon Knight (1957)

Finally, here is the real thing, a story with weird ideas, strange people and devices, surprises, and dramatic tension, the reasons I read SF in the first place.  This piece is far more engaging than the three stories I have already read from The Third Galaxy Reader.

Through extensive research, ruthless alcoholic businessman R. C. Vane has come to believe that planet Meng was once ruled by a race of psychics who could, among other things, make diamonds out of graphite with the power of their minds.  But centuries ago they were overthrown by the other races of planet Meng and today are almost extinct, the few survivors hiding among the mundane Mengs, never using their powers for fear of exposure--nowadays many people consider the tales of the psychic overlords to be no more than legend.  Vane would like to have one of these psykers under his power, and the story takes pace in his hotel room in Meng City, where he has trapped a native he believes to be one of these secret mental powerhouses.  Using various ancient artifacts, high-tech devices, bizarre native flora, and psychic abilities, Vane and the native fight a battle of wits!  Who will come out on top, and how?

Thumbs up!  "Man in the Jar" would be reprinted in numerous Knight collections, and Gardner Dozois would include it in his anthology Another World: Adventures in Otherness.

"Honorable Opponent" by Clifford D. Simak (1956)

The Galactic Confederacy, hundreds of planets led by Earth, is in trouble!  The human race has built working relationships with numerous alien races, but the race known as The Fivers is inscrutable.  Discussions with them are almost impossibly difficult because they don't even seem able, or seem to care, about such basic things as using a mutually agreeable system of keeping track of time so they can make appointments.  Worse still, they seem very touchy about their territory, very defensive, attacking without any sort of warning ships from any race that get too close.  The Fivers' attacks are irresistible, as they have weapons far more powerful than those of any other race, weapons which make their enemy's vessels disappear without a trace.

After much effort, a prisoner exchange has been arranged between Earth and the Fivers, and this meeting is what is chronicled in this story.  The Fivers arrive fourteen hours late, but they bring with them all the human space ships thought destroyed in battle, and all their crews, safe and sound--the Fiver weapons don't cause harm, they just teleport a target to a safe holding area, because the Fivers don't attack out of belligerence, but because they "fight" space naval battles as a game and assume all other races do the same.  After finally explaining this to the humans, the Fivers promise to give to Earth their teleporter weapon so the game will be less dangerous.  Thus this absurd joke story has a serious paradigm-shift ending--the human race need never fight a deadly war again because now people who misbehave can just be teleported into prison without harming them.

"Honorable Opponent" is getting a thumbs down.  Not only is it yet another joke story that is not funny, but the serious ending that comes after the punchline of the ludicrous plot means the story's tone is uneven--is this a sense-of-wonder story about mankind embarking upon an unprecedented era of peace thanks to high technology, or an absurdist joke story about the confusion of dealing with aliens whose actions make no sense?

**********

Science Fiction Book Club edition of
The Third Galaxy Reader

What is it with all the trifling, pointless, mild-to-the-point-of-sterility joke stories in The Third Galaxy Reader?  Was Galaxy supposed to provide a break from all the big ideas, all the thrills and chills, all the exuberant fun and shocking bloodshed to be found in other SF magazines?  Or is this just a sample size error?  Maybe it is just an odd coincidence that, of the five stories I read from The Third Galaxy Reader, chosen because of my interest in these five specific authors, four are light humor pieces--could it be that the other ten stories are full of moving drama and mind-blowing speculation on life in the future?

Well, whatever.  Knight's "Man in the Jar" is good, which was nice to see because I'm hardly a dues-paying member of the Damon Knight fan club, so I am still counting this mission a success.  But I can assure you that in our next episode I will specifically be seeking out thrilling adventure stories!